Disciplines of a Godly Man by R. Kent Hughes Below is a synopsis from our group discussion on Ch. 3 Discipline of Marriage To return to the discussion page, simply close this window. Our discussion began like last week...simply catching up with the past weeks events and welcoming our newest member to the group. Upon diving into the book and our discussion, we started with the often used comment "my better half." How often in discussion do we introduce our spouses as "our better half?" I know I'm guilty of that as is so many of my friends. Sometimes it is said in a joking manor and other times as a way to "compliment" or "flatter" our wives; however, if we look at marriage in context of the bible, we become ONE flesh. If we believe this thought, how can a spouse be a "better half?" In Parenting and in our marriage, we need to be on the same page. With the divorce rate so high (about 50% is the latest statistic I've heard) we are seeing more and more single parent homes. We agreed that a person can be a good parent but by missing that other component of a "father" figure, we can loose control. We too have to keep our "father" figure (Christ, the Lord) in our lives as well. We as the "fathers" of our home need to embrace our wife just as Christ embraced the church. With ALL of ourselves! Our discussion lead into the discussion of what might lead our wives into an affair situation. We surmised that the key component lies in COMMUNICATION! As men, we always want to FIX things. there are times when our spouses simply want us to be there for them. To listen to them. If we omit the communication and the attention our wives seek, they can fall prey to unscrupulous men trying to move in on our wives; therefore, we need to set aside quality "alone" time to talk. Being a father I know that the children can make this a difficult task but is it so crucial to the relationship. We as men need to learn to listen to our wives. Women are known to be multitaskers and we men tend to be more single task oriented. This can make communication difficult at times and even frustrating at times. I shared with the group that I have tried to ask my wife (when she wants to talk) to ask her up front, "do you want me to 'fix' this problem or simply listen?" I can then proceed in the discussion knowing my role for that particular situation. How often do we treat our wives like the "sweetheart" that we first met? How often do we go on a date? How often do we encourage our spouses to have a "girls" time together with her friends? How often have we insisted on a "guys" time out and not reciprocated? Women are excellent at talking about and through difficult times and issues. Men, we tend to barge our way through with some quick fix. If we will make time for God (and our spouses) we will in turn have adequate time for everything else. Show our affection not only when we are alone but in public. just as a man needs that outward sign of affection and interest, so do our spouses. Don't be embarrassed to show public displays of affection (often times called PDA's by a friend and his significant other). We could not recall the exact scripture but in the Old Testament there is a verse that states God will not listen to our requests (prayers) if we are in conflict with our wives. Love our wife as Christ loved the church! As married couples, we are to witness and support other couples in need. It is very humbling for a man to be helped by others; however, that is how we gain our strength and bonds that keep us together. Society has almost made the idea of marriage as being work, a job requiring tremendous effort. A good marriage does take work. A couple that works through the tough times will come out the other side stronger than they were before. We have a duty to PRAY and pray DEEPLY for our wives.