Disciplines of a Godly Man by R. Kent Hughes Below is a synopsis from our group discussion on Ch. 5 Discipline of Friendship To return to the discussion page, simply close this window. With this being the weekend before Christmas, we were a couple short. Despite their absence, we could feel their presence in our discussion. We began by establishing the idea of building a friendship on a Godly basis. I have always remembered what one of my best friends for as long as I can recall once told me. This came from a guy who practically knows someone no matter where he goes. I was never with him that numerous people would come up to him and say "HI," ask for his phone number, give him theirs, etc. and he would tell me that from this enormous pool of people he know, only a few (possibly no more than what he could count on one had) did he actually value or feel were true friends (the ones who would pull his stuck truck out of the desert, bring him a tank of gas, or be there if he really needed something). Part of being a friend, is being there for our friends. Often times, being there simply to listen. Just as we have built our most trusted and valued (as they should be) with our spouses, we too need to build those similar bonds with our friends. Why will we open ourselves to a close friendship in private but not openly? Again, we have to look at how society views those relationships. As a Godly man, we should not allow society to drive how we are to be friends. In today's society, all too often, we look at a friendship between two men as almost taboo. Any outward expression of friendship can often be misread. Men and women show different emotions and we need to accept those differences and embrace these differences. This is why we need male friends. One of our fears, as men, is the lack of loyalty and trust. Although it is easier said than done, we need to develop those feelings and let go of those fears. As we try to be the man of the household, it becomes all to "comfortable" to put up those walls and barriers. Not to mention the change in our neighborhoods where we once interacted with our neighbors. Now days, many of us hardly know our neighbors. If "we" do interact with our neighbors, it's through the efforts of our wives. What, as men, are we sacrificing to advance? So often we are placing so much more ahead of, not only family but, our friends. Why are we loyal or committed more to those events or situations that do not equally share any loyalties toward us? How often have we heard people on their death bed wishing they had spent more time at work? How often do those who have been through so much wish they had stopped to smell the roses? Or, spening more time with their children? When was the last time we took our wife to lunch (instead of with the offiec group) or dinner? How often do we fellowship with other brothers in Christ? A story was then shared about a guy who was a real ladies man. One night when the groups was going out on the town, he was in all his "study" glory. After going to a few business establishments, he returned to the car. Jumping into the front seat, he turned to the rest in the vehicle and said, "Man, I really 'DIG' myself!" What he was really saying was how much he "loved" himself. We in the group got a good chuckle out of this but the point was driven home, we need to not only 'DIG' ourselves but we need to 'DIG' our wife, family, friends, children, etc. Because so many men have the hardest time saying "I Love You" to others, we might want to tell others how much we 'DIG' them. So, the next time you are with your friends, tell them how much you 'DIG' them...get a good chuckle out of it and know that you are truly friends. How much do we need all this companionship? How much do we need to be around others? God created Eve to be Adam's partner. He (God) did not mean for us to be alone. I know there are times we need to be alone, especially in that quiet time with God; however, in the big picture, we are "creatures" of companionship. We can not get the next level, whether it is in our career or our spiritual walk, alone. Spend some alone time in reading scripture. Spend some alone time in prayer, spend some quality time with friends and loved ones who we 'DIG' and who 'DIG' us. On a final note, during one of our earlier meetings, we were discussing locations to meet and agreed that the coffee shop was a nice quite place and who knows, we may just be a conduit for Christ's work. Some person may come up and ask about our group. Well, it happened this past week. As we were finishing in prayer, a man came up and said he noticed us praying and asked what group we were? What book were we reading? And...asked if we would mind him joining us some time. So...it is pretty amazing how God works!